I need a creative outlet. I feel like there is so much inside of me that is just wanting to escape. This isn’t a new feeling. I’ve always needed an outlet, but have never really found a good one. I used to run. Miles and miles. Running releases the energy, but does not release all the emotion. While I have volumes and volumes of journals kept over the years, I’ve struggled with writing. I feel that my words are often very selfish. I write about me, about my feelings, about my fears. Most people do, yes, but I feel that I do it in a very selfish way. Perhaps it is just because I haven’t yet found the right tone or medium to excrete my emotions verbally such that they will be inspiring for others. Maybe that is my problem? I’m actively seeking to inspire. Or am I? Maybe it is just because I don’t want to be inconsequential. I want someone to know that I exist. I want someone to take stock in my emotional turmoil and want to invest in calming it. I have music, scenery, poetry. Maybe I am afraid of anything less than perfection. Maybe things are just so jumble-bumbled inside of me that I absolutely have no idea where to start. How do you translate abstract into tangible? How do you channel the emotions out?
I want to be confident in who I am. I want you to recognize me for who I am. I have beauty inside of me I want to share with the world. I have passions and feelings and hopes and dreams. I want you to know this.
Don’t tell me I dream too big. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t care about the things I care about. Don’t make fun of me for trying to change the world, for wanting to change the world. Just love me. Love me like you’ve always loved me. I am who I am. That hasn’t stopped you before.